NYE

happy new year!!!

in just over two hours, we welcome the year 2013!! crazy. next year i will have a new baby - our fifth - and my oldest becomes *gasp* a teenager!!! it's going to be quite the year.

today we celebrate the end of an eventful year. jim returned from afghanistan. we lived in remodeling chaos for months - ugh! we endured two miscarriages. and then we got pregnant again, and this time...it stuck! third time's the charm, eh?

today we also celebrate the end of my first trimester, which was absolutely horrendous from mid-November through Christmastime. i still feel queasy but it's much more manageable now. we've been so grateful to receive dinners each week as i've been unable to step foot into my kitchen. i think i can handle it from now on. the icky days are becoming fewer and fewer and pretty soon i should be feeling normal and get some energy back!

today jim came with me to my 12 week appointment. funny, because his arm has been bothering him and after mentioning it to my obgyn, we discovered my doc has the same issue - tennis elbow! so jim saved a trip of his own to the doc by coming along with me, haha! we got to hear the heartbeat. so fun. we are so excited...and hoping for a girl. 

beyond awful...

as if morning sickness wasn't bad enough....cue the flu!! jackson and i both seem to have come down with what jim just had. i'm hoping it is as brief as it was for him, too. it has been so awful. yesterday was so bad i thought i was going to end up in the ER. i couldn't keep anything down....not even a tiny sip of water. luckily it turned around sometime during the horrible, seemingly endless night. i was able to keep food down for about five hours.

today i have kept food and liquids down but the nausea is horrendous. in fact, i WISH i could throw up!

the kids left for their father's. jim just dropped them off a little while ago. we won't see them again until Christmas at noon. i feel terrible that this hasn't been a great holiday season because i just lay around sick all the time. so, even though i felt like i was about to lose it, i read from Luke II and the children put the nativity together. after that, the kids opened their sibling gifts. it was a small thing to do, but it made me feel better about them leaving, having done a little something as a family. it's been a long time since we've had family time.

i am excited that 11 weeks is just a few days away! and then just one week more, i can say goodbye to the first trimester. i know i won't be feeling better right away, but i'm happy to see progress.

i'm only happy when i'm asleep! ughh... i sooo can't wait til i can enjoy this pregnancy!!!

double digits, baby!!

yeah! 10 weeks, today! i can't believe i've endured 4 weeks of constant nausea and puking. hopefully in another 4 weeks i will be completely done with this awful feeling. i can't wait to get back to normal, hit the gym, go out with friends, date my husband, hang with my kiddos...bake and cook!! i feel so disconnected from my usual life and all my friends and family. it's not fun!!

2nd trimester is just a couple weeks away. can't wait!!

in other news...jim came home from work yesterday, sick. thankfully, angela was able to come over and help with the kids in the afternoon. what a Godsend!! from dinnertime to bedtime was pretty awful, though...just sick me and four kids. 

poor jim was miserable. i set him up in the spare bedroom so he could be "quarantined" and get some uninterrupted rest. he's better today, but still not well enough to get out of bed.

these dinners brought to us have been so helpful. my first week of "morning" sickness, i wasn't able to prepare any food for myself or for my family and it was just horrible. so a HUGE thank you to everyone who has helped during this time!!

one two three

three things are saving my life right now:

1. welch's grape juice
2. golden grahams cereal
3. trident cinnamon gum

9 weeks and counting

i look forward to every tuesday because that's my week mark. today i am 9 weeks and 1 day. next week i'll finally be in the double digits and that seemingly elusive 2nd trimester will begin shortly thereafter!

this morning my super awesome friend and visiting teacher picked jackson up at 9am to go play at her house. she has three cute little boys. i knew he'd have much more fun over there. still, when he learned i wasn't going with him, he began to cry. i felt so bad for him, but also knew he'd be having fun in no time. sure enough, my friend texted me minutes later to let me know he'd found the trains and was perfectly content. he should be home by 1pm and i look forward to him telling me all about it.

no change in how i feel. still nauseous all day and all night. seems to get worse in the afternoon/evening...but perhaps there is a connection between that and the kids getting home from school. hehehe... i have to say, though....the kids have been pretty helpful. jessica has helped with after school snacks and helping with her younger siblings. when they get home, i give them something to do to keep them occupied while i go lay down. they're definitely watching more tv these days and playing more computer games (and hogging my kindle)...but only after they've done homework and chores.

i really miss zumba. i'm already missing that part of my life. for a while there, i was going to 7+ hours of zumba each week. it's dwindled over time and now that i am sick, it's non-existent. i'm hoping to get back during my 2nd trimester, but let's face it....it won't be the same from now on. not sure how zumba will work going into my 3rd trimester, and then...the baby will be here! i can do zumba at home but it's not the same as being in class with my friends - plus i burn a lot more in that atmosphere. and i know the gym won't take babies until they are six months old. *sigh*  i'm happy, but can't help but be bummed about this. i've really enjoyed the social aspect and getting in such great shape. plus, i finally got certified and now i wonder when/how often i'll be using that.

i can only handle being on my laptop for so long....'til next blog!

from bad to worse.

i now have the nasty cold my boys have. so now, when i cough, i am sure to be vomiting as well. lovely. to make matters worse, i have to somehow get myself and them to their pediatrician.

woohoo.

1st glimpse!

today was my first appointment! i've been looking forward to seeing the ultrasound, but after two miscarriages this year, also very nervous. at first, my doctor wasn't able to see a heartbeat - so we were both worried for a moment. but less than a minute later, there it was. i got to see our little bean, see the heartbeat, and also listen to the heartbeat. immediately relieved, i felt like i can finally begin to be relaxed and excited about this pregnancy. 

the due date they gave me was july 6th, but i knew i wasn't that far along. my own calculations put the due date at july 16th - which was SO cool because that was my grandma's birthday. dr. snyder measured the baby and came up with a new due date....july 16th!! i can't begin to express how much joy that brings me! it would be even cooler if he/she is born on the due date!

i am 8 weeks along, and happy to report i felt pretty good today. still nauseous, but compared to what i've been feeling...well enough enjoy my first appointment. feeling less sick made me nervous, though. i was concerned that less nausea meant something was wrong. but, nope! all is perfectly well. dr. snyder said that after seeing the yolk sac, baby and heartbeat, chances of a miscarriage at this point are below 3%. what a huge weight, lifted from me. i am so happy. dr. snyder was my obgyn when i had jenna. i wanted to have him again when i was pregnant with jackson but he had gone part-time. but he's back to full-time again...yay! he's wonderful.

misery.

it had to happen sooner or later. i finally threw up a couple days ago. yep, after two weeks of clenching my jaw and pursing my lips, head spinning with nausea...i finally lost control. people seem to think it's not as bad if you're not puking...but not so. NOT throwing up when all you want to DO is throw up....THAT is misery. so for two solid weeks i have been doing everything in my power to keep stuff down. it's been AWFUL. puking is never fun, but sometimes it alleviates that terrible feeling - at least for a little bit. i can't believe i have several more weeks of this ahead of me....

people keep reminding me how wonderful it is that i'm so sick. yes, it means this pregnancy is going well. yes, i should be (and am) so grateful to have a baby. but does that mean i can't complain a little?? i wanted this, yes. i've been through it before and knew it was coming, sure. but let's face it...every pregnant woman gets to vent her frustrations...her aches and pains.... it comes with the territory, dude!

i am 7 weeks, 4 days. next tuesday is my first appointment. i not looking forward to getting ready and leaving the house, but definitely excited to learn more about our little bean!