Monday, April 13, 2009

easter weekend

here we are, almost 4 weeks later. can you believe it??? hard to believe that endless pregnancy actually ended. labor, delivery & healing is far behind me now. for a while there, i was thrilled to no longer be pregnant and excited about getting my body back - for good! however, i am finding myself missing my pregnant belly. i'm even hungry?!? what on earth???

tomorrow, jackson will be 4 weeks old. he's starting to fill out nicely and gain more weight. he's adorable and we love him more and more each day. we look forward to learning his personality and seeing those first smiles and hearing those first words. for now, we are thoroughly enjoying his itty-bitty stage. i love all those newborn sounds and smells.

as for me....i was 160 when i gave birth and now i'm down to 135. my goal and personal ideal weight is 115-120. last week, i figured i could start exercising since it'd been a few weeks after having jackson. the kathy smith fat burning workout still kicks my butt after all these years (i've been doing it since junior high - wow!). that vhs tape has always helped me get back into shape. kathy smith, don't fail me now!! i am still wishy washy over having any more children, but one thing is for sure....i want my body back first!! i like beginning a pregnancy in the best shape possible.

we have a vacation planned for later this year, so i want to be in great shape and NOT be pregnant. there are rides at disneyland and magic mountain i'll want to ride!! and i don't want babies back to back, either. hmm...the thought of five children is both appealing and nightmarish. i wonder what the future holds?

this weekend, we blessed jackson. jim gave the most beautiful blessing i've ever heard. it was so nice to have family here for the special occasion. it's so cool that jackson was born on st. patrick's day and blessed on easter! he's our little holiday baby.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Friday, March 20, 2009

he's here!!!

it's a good thing i finished jackson's quilt because...he's here!! things don't always go as i plan - i've gotten used to that. still, i had certain hoping for an inducement on jackson's due date (the 20th). but reality has a way of being better than what i expected...

on monday night, jim and i went to bed pretty late. we love spending time together, talking, reading, playing games and so forth, that we lose track of time. after just a few minutes of laying in bed, i had a really strong contraction. jim has experienced me having contractions before, so he stayed put.....until another one came, and was worse. after several painful contractions, jim got his watch out and began timing. the contractions seemed to be coming just a couple minutes apart. oh my goodness....was i going into labor on my own?? i began to worry because i was so exhausted already and had hoped to be induced. yes, i am a planner...i like to be prepared. this was very unexpected and we began to think this just might be it! without me having to say a word, jim went right to my list and began packing items for the hospital. i love how he just gets on task like that, like he's reading my mind. well, the contractions began to subside....but they were still coming. we figured we weren't going anywhere yet, but at least the bags were packed and surely i had dilated quite a lot since last time i was checked. we discussed it and thought it best that we sleep separately because jim needed the sleep and i knew i'd continue to be up having contractions. i didn't want to keep him awake for no reason - it'd be dumb if we were both sleep deprived!
jim got up with the kids in the morning, as he usually does. i was incredibly grateful for that because i had been up all night and desperately needed the sleep. i asked if he could stay home from work and he said he would. i was worried about him being so far away if i went into labor. so i went back to sleep and set my alarm because i had a 10am appointment. next thing i know, jim is waking me telling me that it's 9:40am!! we were supposed to drop the kids off at 9:45am, at my friend stacy's house. i leapt out of bed and showered faster than i ever have. stacy was awesome, and drove over immediately to pick the kids up. soon enough, jim and i were on our way to my appointment. it was funny because i'd let my hair air-dry and had no makeup on, so the receptionist (who normally says, "hi, ellen!") just stared at me for a moment. i told her i was there to see dr. roe and she said, "oh, it's you! i didn't recognize you!" yeah, i looked pretty awful...especially after being so sleep deprived!
dr. roe arrived and checked me. i half-jokingly asked to be induced that day. he said i was 4cm and 100% effaced...then said to go to the hospital. my response: "wha-what?? what did you just say?" i thought i hadn't heard him correctly. he said i was in labor and to get to the hospital. wow!! i did NOT expect that. jim and i were totally giddy. we headed home for our bags, stunned by the fact that we'd be having a baby in just a few hours. crazy.
sooo typical....jim was speeding along and two motorcycle cops pulled us over. it was pretty funny, the wife in labor and the husband rushing through traffic... so jim pulled into an apartment complex and the two cops took their sweet time in walking over. jim was impatient, waving at them from the window to come over. obviously, the cops had no idea i was in labor. we WERE on our way to the hospital and I WAS in labor, but we had time to stop by our it's not like we could agree to a police escort to the hospital. heck, i wasn't going to have a baby without slapping on some makeup first!! those pictures and videos are forever! haha...
we got home and hurried as fact as we could. then, we were on our way. trisha was already there when we arrived. it was so exciting!! we were going to have a st. patrick's day baby! we first entered the labor/delivery room at 11:45am. i was 4-5cm when dr. roe arrived and broke my water at 12:30pm. by 12:50pm, my contractions were getting really intense and i was asking for an epidural. i wasn't asking so much because of the pain at that was more about the fact that last time i asked for one, it took forever and i didn't end up getting one because it was too late. knowing how fast i go, i wanted them to find that anesthesiologist - STAT!!

unfortunately, i needed to go through an entire bag of fluid through my IV before i could get that epidural, so they gave me some fentanol in the meantime. man, that stuff is HEAVENLY!! i relaxed immediately...was even laughing. it was pretty hilarious. the contractions still hurt, but at least it took the edge off. finally, i got my epidural at 1:45pm and, after a few more bad contractions, it kicked in and my legs went numb. it's the oddest feeling, poking your own legs and not feeling a thing....

for the next hour, we three hung out and had a good time. i was completely relaxed, just laying there. trisha took lots of great pictures and videos for us. i really appreciated her presence, not only for the picture-taking, but because she is my closest sister and it meant so much having her there. she knows, more than most, what i went through three years ago in that same hospital. she was a great comfort, and second only to jim, my great advocate.

at 3:10pm, i was 6-7cm and the epidural began to wear off. and man, those contractions were nasty!! i was able to get another dose from my epidural, and by 3:25pm, i was 8-9cm. of course it didn't take long....jackson was born at 3:57pm. my epidural had worn off quite a bit, so it was pretty painful....but worth it. always, worth it. seems like it just took a few pushes and he was out! jim thought he was quite the purple, gooey mess at first. i adored him from the moment i laid eyes on him. it was so much fun to finally see him and hold him.

i got to hold him for a very long time before he was finally weighed and measured. his apgar score was a 9, the highest of all my children. he weighed 8 lbs., and was 20 inches long. i was so happy and grateful that we were able to have him on this day. and it was st. patrick's day - how fun is that?! there is also a greater space now, between his birthday and jenna's (march 27th). i didn't want their birthdays too close together. so we have a lot of special days in march, now! jackson and jenna's birthdays, my sister tina's birthday, and our anniversary (the 29th).

stacy had been watching our children all this time, and brought them to the hospital for a visit. they rushed to him immediately and were very excited. stacy brought jackson a stuffed puppy, as well as a balloon and pretty red flowers. i appreciate her so much for all she did. she is a wonderful friend.

even though i was exhausted and in pain, i felt so happy and so thankful for my life and my family. i also felt a surge of emotions towards jim. my feelings for him have continued to climb since we were married, but i'm suddenly feeling even closer with this tiny person connecting us. jim has changed my life in so many ways and i've always known he is an amazing husband and father. seeing him experience fatherhood from scratch like this has been incredible. he is a natural. i am so happy for him, and for us.

we couldn't believe what a good and quiet baby we had! in fact, jackson slept from about 2am - 7am! unfortunately, while he was sleeping, i was experiencing so much pain that i couldn't take advantage of it. they kept giving me meds but nothing seemed to help. when they finally gave me some demerol, i got really groggy and was able to sleep a tiny bit. we talked about staying another night but decided we both wanted to go home.

bringing jackson home was wonderful. we are so happy that he's finally here and look forward to watching him grow and change. thank you, to everyone who sent gifts, cards, meals, left messages and e-mails. we are feeling the love!!

Monday, March 16, 2009

week 39

i wrote all about this past weekend on our family blog, so go check it out!! basically, we had a surprise couple's baby shower for jim at outback steakhouse - soooo much fun!! - followed by registering at the hospital and getting a private tour of the maternity floor. after that visit to the hospital, both of us are feeling a lot more excited and prepared for jackson's arrival.

tomorrow is (hopefully) my last appointment. i've had LOTS of contractions this past week, so i should have progressed a lot since last time. i will be very surprised if i haven't changed much. i am really hoping we can schedule an induction for this friday, which is also my due date.
this weekend i finally continued with jackson's quilt. all i need to do now is hand-stitch the binding and it'll be done! i love how it's turning out.

now we wait. i look forward to jackson's arrival but i am also trying to relish every last moment of "freedom." i know it's going to be more difficult going places or getting things done around the i continue to nest and do as much as possible (wthin reason) before he gets here. jim has (as always) been amazing. he is the most understanding, helpful, compassionate, dedicated man. i love and appreciate him so much. i am so excited about our new addition, and much of that excitement is for HIM.

Monday, March 9, 2009

mama's bun.

thanks to trisha, i made it to my afternoon appointment with dr. roe. i was elated to learn i'm 1-2cm and 50% effaced. the last couple weeks have been disappointing because nothing had happened yet....but finally, some progress!

while i was there, he stripped my membranes. i've had that done before and nothing ever came of it....and since i have always been induced, i'd be REALLY surprised if i went into labor on my own. uh oh, we still need to pre-register at the hospital!! i've been waiting for jim to be available for that, so we can also tour the birthing center while there. he's been incredibly busy, though. time is running out! great...i just reminded myself of all that still needs done and i'm feeling my pulse quicken!

i only gained a pound since my last appointment. i'm happy about that. i've gained about 40 pounds so far - amazing, when you consider all the high-calorie foods i've given myself permission to scarf down! let's face it....this is my final opportunity to eat whatever and not have to suck it in after a meal.

i do look forward to getting my body back (i've been saying that a lot, haven't i??). however, while feeling jackson's kicks and wriggles today, i felt a bit sad knowing it may very well be the last time i feel a baby's movement in my belly. i'm just a week and a half away from the due date. he could come at anytime! i can't wait to meet this little guy but there is also the part of me that wants him to stay put. well, he's coming soon and we are excited! who knows, maybe next time you hear from us, we'll be home from the hospital with jackson in our arms!

Friday, March 6, 2009

final weekend.

well,'s not "final" final. but with the kids off to their father's this weekend, jim at drill and jackson still in my's going to be a long time before a chance like this presents itself again!! you BET i am taking advantage!!

some adult conversation
my friend jeanne' came over today, with her two youngest. i love having friends over because it motivates me to clean, clean, clean!! i've been nesting so much and keeping the house in pretty good condition lately, but having a guest really boosts my cleaning mood. so now my home is clean and my spirits are lifted, after hanging out with her. we had some great conversation while the kids played throughout the house. they stayed for lunch, too. i made dinosaur chicken nuggets for the kids and homemade chinese chicken salad for the grown-ups! yum! and the icing on the cake? IT'S A GORGEOUS DAY!! the skies are blue, the sun is shining....and "freedom" is just a couple hours away. when jessica gets home, i am dropping by target to pick up a play-yard bassinet for jackson that i have on hold, then continuing on to seattle. woo-hoo!!

girl's day out!
i am even MORE excited about tomorrow. my sister and i are going out to lunch and hittin' a matinee. it's part one of our sister date. next week, we are getting our toes done! that way, when my feet are up in the air and jackson is entering the world, i will have cute (but swollen) feet! i love hanging out with my sis. if we weren't sisters, she'd definitely be one of my very best friends. i am so grateful that she lives just minutes away. she will be there for jackson's birth so that will be fun!

the uber-long night
last night's "sleep" was pretty awful. jim came home really late from work, was still on-call, AND had to pack for drill. i stayed up helping him get ready for the weekend, and of course because we are best friends we tend to talk wayyyy too much - which is FUN but also makes things take longer! i finally headed to bed after doing what i could to help him prep, but then i couldn't fall asleep until he came to bed. well, when he finally DID turn in, i was extremely uncomfortable. he fell right to sleep and i ended up wide awake for hours. it was one thing after another....jackson had hiccups, his itty bitty feet were up in my ribcage, my hips were really sore, i got hungry, had to pee (what else is new? haha!). oh my goodness....i will be so thrilled to get my bod back! i finally was able to fall asleep around 4am, after killing some time on facebook (naturally). such a frustrating night!!

finishing touches
this weekend i hope to finish (or at least continue) on jackson's baby quilt. i can't wait to see it completed! jackson's room is looking awesome. jim has helped so much. i tell you...i have the most incredible husband in the world. he is so helpful and attentive, always striving to work hard and do the right thing. i admire him more and more each day and appreciate all his efforts. he does so much for me and it leaves me wanting to do so much for him, in return! i have my crazy "to-do" list which grows rather than shrinks...and he is totally supportive and pitches right in. the other day, i found him cleaning out the microwave right after he came home from another long day at work. he was helping me check one more thing off my list - now THAT is a man!!!

it's now less than two weeks until my due date. i can hardly believe it. this pregnancy has felt eternal at times....and now here we are, at the end of it. i have another appointment on monday but i'm not expecting much. i will be surprised if there's been any change because i haven't really had many contractions this week. we are even more prepared for jackson's arrival now. the baby swing, jumper and bassinet will soon be here. we pretty much have everything we need! i do want to get a first year calendar, though. those are great to have from the very start. we are excited!!!!

Monday, March 2, 2009


saw the doc today. no change. what about all those contractions i've been having?? :o(

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

5 goals for today

  1. stop snacking and chew on some gum!!
  2. start sewing jackson's baby quilt
  3. clear out all the non-baby stuff from jackson's room
  4. remind my husband how amazing he is
  5. spend some quality time with jessica

Monday, February 23, 2009

gettin' there...

at my appointment last week, they informed me that i'd lost two pounds. what?!? how on earth is that possible? i have been eating to my heart's desire and the only exercise i do revolves around children and housework. hmm....

they also informed me that they'd be checking for group b strep. how had i managed to forget about that? oh yeah....the pregnant brain forgets everything. if i'd remembered this detail, i would have bothered to shave my legs (a monumental task at this point) and NOT worn black socks. now that i'll be going every week, i plan on being prepared - cute socks and all.

i continue to nest. i don't have an actual list (my husband has asked for one) - it's all in my head. again, a dangerous place for a list to be, with the forgetful pregnant mind and all.

today, i came home from shopping and decided to dig through the garage and locate james' old baby things. i found them immediately, thanks to my wonderful hubby who has been trying to make the garage a more functional (clean & organized) space. it was so much fun, seeing james' old baby clothes, blankets, shoes, itty bitty socks.... my heart was all a-flutter with anticipation. i'm getting excited!!

i love being able to reuse james' baby clothes. james was such a huge baby - he fit them for about two seconds - so everything is in brand new condition. right now, i am washing everything with dreft, my favorite baby detergent. the smell brings back all kinds of wonderful baby memories. i have two loads of blankets and clothes (0-6 months). that should fill the dresser nicely.

speaking of the dresser, this past weekend i went to IKEA (love that place!!) and bought the same dresser james has. when the boys eventually share a room, their dressers will match - yay! jim, being the awesome husband he is, went right to work on putting it together. he did some heavy lifting/moving for me and now jackson's room is just about ready.

i'm feeling more prepared for jackson's arrival, which is a big deal to me. still, i have "to-do's" on the brain...
  • plan meals ahead of time
  • finish (er...start) jackson's quilt
  • arrange for help when we go to the hospital
  • get new video camera battery
  • make sure camera stays on the charger
  • buy myself new pajamas (my personal tradition, when having a baby)
  • clean minivan, inside and out
  • continue to stay on top of laundry, housework, etc.
  • i know i'm forgetting something...

Thursday, February 12, 2009

no wonder my back hurts....

here i am, with five weeks (give or take) to go!! lots of people have been commenting on how my belly has popped out even more recently. i have to agree, because i am the one feeling the affects of it! this is the not-so-fun part, lookswise (yes, i am vain)....i definitely "poof up" at the end of my pregnancies. of course, it will also help if i stay away from the nachos and ice cream... i think the hardest part for me is the face. i just don't see myself when i look in the mirror. but i keep reminding myself, "this is temporary, this is temporary!!"

jackson is head-down now. i really enjoy his cute, little movements (which are less frequent, now that he is quickly running out of room in there). there is the usual pain, of course, but all the kicks and wiggles make it worth it. we are incredibly curious as to what this little guy is going to look like. all we can do is wait...

Thursday, February 5, 2009

6 weeks to go!!!

~1 baby room painted
~2 pieces of furniture put together by jim
~3 children that can't wait for their brother to arrive
~4 pieces of fabric to cut for baby quilt
~5 cute baby outfits bought at a steal
~6 weeks to go!!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

more insomnia...

it's just after 6am and i've been up since 3am-ish. blah!! i really hate this. i'm either hungry or restless or have something on the brain or jackson is kicking me or i have to pee. arghh!!! it's going to be a longgggg day.

Friday, January 23, 2009

32 weeks, 1 day!

got a hot date tonight, in seattle!! we'll drop the kids off at their father's then it's just jim and i. we're counting down....not many opportunities like this left!

i'm excited.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

thar she blows!!

yeahhh....feeling like a whale these days. i get lots of nice comments about my size when i go out, and you'd think that helps - but not really. i look back at that first belly, was i skinny!! i am very excited to get back into shape after this. a friend of mine has been getting up really early each morning and working out - i totally admire her, and she looks AMAZING (yeah, i am talking about YOU, karissa)! i have no idea how life is going to be with four children, one of them being a newborn, but i sure hope i find the time (and willpower) to exercise!

here i am at 32 weeks. i figure i should show my belly at a different angle. i only have eight weeks left (depending on whenever jackson decides to arrive)...and i'm only going to get BIGGER!! well, as long as i don't get as huge as i did with my first pregnancy, i will be happy. i was about 186 lbs. when i had jessica! i am surprised i'm not bigger because i've been enjoying food and haven't been careful at ALL.

at my last doctor visit, i learned that i'm anemic. no big surprise. i've been feeling extremely weak and tired (more than the norm). plus, i'm always anemic when pregnant. so i am taking iron pills now, three times a day. i can feel a difference, but not much. still exhausted all the time. and it's hard to get any exercise when feeling so pooped!! any exercise i get involves taking care of the kids and cleaning house.
as i blog, the kids play "kitchen" beside me. they are so cute. quite often, they come over, hug my belly and talk to jackson. when james says his prayers, he never forgets to add, "and bless that jackson will come out soon." it's really sweet. jenna is excited to be a big sister. it's strange to me, that she won't be my youngest anymore. it's hard to believe almost three years have passed since she was born.
during naptime today, i took the usual belly shot then decided to play around in microsoft image composer as i watched my DVR'd show, "top chef: new york."

yep, naptime is mommy time. i try not to take a nap (although i badly want one), because it tends to screw up that night's sleep. last night, i slept *maybe* a total of two hours. ughh...
one can always tell when it's the 5 o'clock hour around here. jessica is down the street at hannah's house and i'm coming out of my peak of exhaustion as the kids make a massive mess of toys while awaiting daddy's arrival. he's at the dentist. again. poor guy, he seems to go there a lot. this is also the time when i try to figure out what i should make for dinner. during this pregnancy, i've been terrible at planning meals. luckily, it always turns out!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

the latest and greatest....

"greatest," meaning me. noooo, i'm not having an ego trip. i mean "great" as in LARGE. well, apparently i gained a bit too much last month. at my last appointment, my doctor took one look at my weight and said, "looks like you enjoyed the holidays." i DID enjoy them - thank you very much!! i admit, i am not being very careful with my calorie-intake. this may be my last pregnancy so i am just going to enjoy it. let's face it - this is the only time i can eat a big meal and don't have to suck it in! i don't enjoy seeing the weight gain (especially around my face), but it helps knowing i always bounce back and end up wearing my "skinny jeans" again. just a few more months!
it's pretty crazy, now that i am in my 31st week. i think my nesting phase is finally dying down. i've been cleaning and organizing, taking things the DI (goodwill)....and PAINTING!! yep, this past weekend i took advantage of the kiddos being gone and jim being away at drill. i woke up early and got started. it took most of the day, but that's because i took a lot of breaks. by the time jim arrived home, i was done painting but in tons of pain. my back was KILLING me. he, of course (being the great husband he is), had me lay down and rest while he cleaned up and put all the furniture back. he also put the crib up - yay!! i love you, baby!!
here are a few pics of the room. i still need to make curtains and find something to go on the walls to tie it all together. i am going to hang dark red curtains in the window and also in front of the treadmill (don't want to see that eyesore)! i'm sure i'll post more pics when it's complete.

the next thing to accomplish is jackson's baby quilt. the quilt you see hanging on the crib is actually james' baby quilt, made by my sister, trisha. it goes really well with the room! but, of course, jackson will have his own quilt. this is the fabric i am using:

i just washed the fabric today and will probably iron it tonight.'s cutting time!!