Wednesday, March 7, 2012


we lost the pregnancy today. i don't even want to say "baby." pregnancy sounds better right now. i've been resting, crying, connecting with friends and family, and crying some more. my sweet husband rushed home to be with me and help out. i am grateful i'd already planned for my youngest daughter to go home with a friend from school today, since i couldn't have forseen this.

i was in bed, crying and in pain, as i waited for jim to get home. cute little jackson walked in, came over to my side and held my hand. "you sick?" he asked. i told him i was sad. with that, he told me he would go get daddy for me, and he left the room. next, i heard a chair being dragged down in the kitchen, followed by the sound of a LOT of beeps. i knew he had the phone...

i got up as quickly as i possibly could and hobbled down the stairs to find this:

what a little sweetheart, he is. i sure love my little boy. he was trying to help. so cute.

jim was home in no time. i was surprised at how quickly he got here. turns out, he had nowhere to park at the terminal this morning so he drove all the way to work, enabling him to come home much faster than if he had to wait for buses. perfect day, for that to happen.

i am so grateful for my husband. he did and said everything i needed. he is my best friend. i love him dearly. he took care of jackson, brought me lunch from qdoba, listened intently when i needed to talk and comforted me when i needed it.

my parents stopped by, which was a nice surprise. i really appreciated seeing them and getting hugs and a nice visit. they said they'll bring dinner tonight.

so, the whole thing is extremely disappointing, sad and physically painful....but i am trying to be positive, focus on the things i do have. it's hard to tell everyone, after announcing the pregnancy so early on. hopefully there will be a "next time," and then i will wait til after my first appointment to share the news. but a friend was correct to say not to be upset for sharing the news, because this way friends can better support me because they know.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

happy day

i love recording the things my children say and do. already, i'm getting fun feedback about the new baby...

jackson came up to me while i was doing zumba in my bedroom, hugged my hips, stuck his face into my belly and said, "hello, baby!"

jenna has noticed my snacking habits as of late. "mom," she said..."the baby's eating pickles."

today i made my first appointment, and much to my delight, discovered my old obgyn is accepting patients again! so, dr. snyder it is. he was my obgyn when i was pregnant with jenna, and i really liked him.

Monday, March 5, 2012


here we are, three years later...jim is back from a year deployment to afghanistan, jackson is about to turn three, and we just found out we're having a baby! i still have this blog up, so i figured i might as well just add on to it rather than start a new one. we go!!

despite all my zumba, my tummy is definitely not as flat and toned as i wanted it to be for starting another pregnancy. oh well. now that i am pregnant, i won't worry about it and just enjoy not having to suck it in anymore! gotta look at the bright side, right? i can resume my quest for my previously flat, toned tummy after this baby (or BABIES??) is born.