Wednesday, June 19, 2013

tick tick tick....

i'm a ticking time bomb!!

it must be getting pretty crowded in that womb of mine. juliet isn't moving about as crazily as she used to. not sure how she's feeling about things, but i'm ready for her to come OUT!! okay, well...i know she needs to bake a bit longer....but i have been SO unbelievably uncomfortable lately. knowing there are four weeks til my due date is driving me MAD! when i go out, i always get those comments about how i look like i'm about to pop....followed by me informing them i have weeks to go....followed by their sympathetic pout. *sigh*

last week was fun...had an ultrasound and got to see my baby girl!! i wasn't expecting anything, so after he confirmed she's head down, and then showed me her face...awww!! she's so cuuute! and even better, he printed it out for me. it's not as clear as what i first saw, but it's still fun to have another photo of her.

yesterday i was getting her room more prepared. my sister continues to work on the bedding...can't wait to see it in there!! i finally went through all those baby shower gifts...removing tags, folding bags and tissue paper, putting diapers, wipes, toys, hairbows away, washing clothes. today i took the kids shopping with me and bought a few things we didn't have. jim put the diaper changing table together and now it sits under the window, ready for use!

i'm so excited.

zumba? that's a joke at this point. i'm still trying to go but i just can't get this body off the ground anymore. i can't circle my hips or get down low. yeah...it's pretty ridiculous-looking. it's super frustrating, not being able to dance fully, like i'm used to. like i WANT to.

this is getting surreal. to know we'll have a new baby girl joining our family very soon blows my mind. feeling her move around in my belly...there's sadness knowing it's the last time i'll ever feel that sensation. juliet is my last. i've said that with each baby...but really, this time it's true. i'm 35, and although i've enjoyed being pregnant again, i also don't want my body to go through this again. this pregnancy has felt two years long!! i look forward to locking eyes with juliet for the first time, holding her, feeding her....and getting my body back (for good). five kids...that's a lot. that's my max. i love my family and it finally feels complete.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

ugh...update!

seriously?!! 34 weeks pregnant and I'm suddenly having morning sickness again?! noooo!!!

just when I thought all the exhaustion, swollen body parts, round ligament pains and charlie horses in my thighs were bad enough....I'm waking to migraines and nausea again. lovely!! *grumble, grumble*

okay, back to my "glass is half full." i LOVE this little girl and can't wait to meet her. her kicks and wriggles delight me. i haven't met her, but i just feel like she's...oh, i dunno...CUTE! i love watching my belly move about and pushing back on whatever appendage she pokes at me.

according to my ticker, she is now the size of a honeydew. people are still saying i look like a swallowed a basketball and that i don't look pregnant until they see my belly....but I'M not seeing it anymore. just in the past week or so i've felt so much more awkward, unbalanced, exhausted, whale-like.... basically, i'm REALLY feeling this pregnancy now. i can't even zumba like i have been - now that is frustrating!! six more weeks...six more weeks (give or take)...

this is the season of mixed emotions. i want to meet her, i want my body back...but, being the last time i'll be pregnant, i feel sadness and want to savor every moment....even the heartburn and constantly having to pee... i will not pass this way again, and that realization brings tears to the surface.

after my next appointment, i'll be seeing my doc every week. EVERY WEEK!! yes, we are that close. still much to do...but we're mostly ready. i've been washing baby clothes and bedding, buying furniture (antique dresser), making a list of what we still need to buy or do...

i've obviously done this before but i'm feeling that "first time mom" feeling again...like i'm clueless, like i'm not quite ready. but i know it'll be heaven when she arrives. i'm so excited.

i'm 35 years old now and next week i'll be 35 weeks pregnant. i feel so old. i'm definitely done (yes, i've said that with each pregnancy)....but really....i am. i am so grateful to give a boy and a girl to my sweet husband, in addition to the three he became an instant Daddy to. father's day approaches and my heart is overflowing with such tender feelings about that man. i am forever blessed because he came - not only into my life - but my children's lives. he's...phenomenal. i love him dearly.