*grumble, grumble*

can i pleeeease be done with this nausea, already?! ugh.

i'm impatient, that's for sure. i'm clearly getting better and having more good moments than bad ones, but i want to feel NORMAL again...like, ALL the time. and i want it NOW.

now, now, now!!

*sigh* it's really difficult making dinner when i feel like this.

today i walked for a mile (out in the bitter cold). i love my little cul de sac and the fact that i know each lap around it is like one lap around a track. so four loops, and it's a mile. once all the kids were home from school and had their snack, i was outta there. i am going stir crazy! i have been home for two months, feeling crappy for two months, and not exercising for two months. so this was my first exercise in quite a while. i eventually want to return to zumba (we'll see), so i want to start small. walking is small.

i tell ya, halfway through my mile i was freezing and sore! my feet hurt, my left shin hurt, my ears hurt and i couldn't feel my nose. this kind of discomfort always turns my heart to what the early pioneers suffered (specifically the ones who began their journey too late in the season and ended up suffering greatly in the harsh winter cold, snow and ice). i wanted to quit at half a mile, but i thought of them...wearing clothing less warm, shoes less comfortable, and wayyy more miles to go than me. plus, i knew i could retreat back into my warm and cozy house and find something to eat anytime i wanted. those pioneers faced severely dwindling rations (down to no food at all) and there was no warmth or comfort anywhere nearby..with weeks, months to go. i tell you...i am in AWE of them.

so i pushed through and finished my mile. approaching my home, with its visible heat puffing out the top, and hearing my children inside, i smiled to myself, feeling grateful and happy.