our little avocado.

sorry, jimmy....this week our baby is the size of an avocado (jim can't stand avocados. and he calls himself a californian at heart?!). heehee...

16 weeks today! went to my appointment - nervous. as soon as the instrument touched my belly, there it was, loud and clear...a strong, beautiful heartbeat. *sigh* i'm very happy.

my next appointment is the long-anticipated ultrasound!! *applause* we are beyond giddy about finding out who this little person is, who's taken up residence in my womb. we're hoping for a girl, and jessica (who has always been correct in her predictions) says it's a girl for sure.

still nauseous...and having headaches...but it's all worth it. i am so thrilled about getting into the fun part of pregnancy - having a belly, feeling the baby, finding out the sex and being able to call him/her by their name. yippeeee!! it's been a long time coming.

1st photo

well...plenty of peeps have been bugging me to get some pictures up. i am NOT posting belly pics, so don't even ask! haha... for the past two months, i've been snacking on whatever i can manage to keep down *and* not exercising whatsoever. in other words, my baby bump is hidden beneath a layer of lovely flab so - no belly shots! perhaps if i can stomach a more nutritious meal plan and get back to exercising on a regular basis, i might change my mind. MIGHT.

so, here i am at 15.5 weeks. i've had eight pregnancies and this will be baby #5. i'm still feeling nauseous but it continues to improve, thank goodness. i normally don't feel sick past about 16 weeks and that is just days away, so...i am guessing i have longer to go. the longest i have been sick is 18 weeks. hopefully this icky feeling won't stay the entire time. that'd certainly be a first!

*grumble, grumble*

can i pleeeease be done with this nausea, already?! ugh.

i'm impatient, that's for sure. i'm clearly getting better and having more good moments than bad ones, but i want to feel NORMAL again...like, ALL the time. and i want it NOW.

now, now, now!!

*sigh* it's really difficult making dinner when i feel like this.

today i walked for a mile (out in the bitter cold). i love my little cul de sac and the fact that i know each lap around it is like one lap around a track. so four loops, and it's a mile. once all the kids were home from school and had their snack, i was outta there. i am going stir crazy! i have been home for two months, feeling crappy for two months, and not exercising for two months. so this was my first exercise in quite a while. i eventually want to return to zumba (we'll see), so i want to start small. walking is small.

i tell ya, halfway through my mile i was freezing and sore! my feet hurt, my left shin hurt, my ears hurt and i couldn't feel my nose. this kind of discomfort always turns my heart to what the early pioneers suffered (specifically the ones who began their journey too late in the season and ended up suffering greatly in the harsh winter cold, snow and ice). i wanted to quit at half a mile, but i thought of them...wearing clothing less warm, shoes less comfortable, and wayyy more miles to go than me. plus, i knew i could retreat back into my warm and cozy house and find something to eat anytime i wanted. those pioneers faced severely dwindling rations (down to no food at all) and there was no warmth or comfort anywhere nearby..with weeks, months to go. i tell you...i am in AWE of them.

so i pushed through and finished my mile. approaching my home, with its visible heat puffing out the top, and hearing my children inside, i smiled to myself, feeling grateful and happy.

knock knock...

...who's there?
ORANGE.
orange who?
orange ya gonna ask me what i've been craving lately?

ohhhh...oranges. glorious oranges. the fruit itself, a tall glass of it's sweet liquid goodness....ORANGES!  i don't know what the deal is, but suddenly i find myself wanting to visit citrusland every chance i get.

i swear, i must have had seven oranges today and three or four glasses of orange juice (pulp free, of course). and i still want more...

my sweet husband ran to the store tonight. well, he drove, actually. anyway...i sure love him. he bought me four more oranges because i ate the last one tonight.

four oranges...

that should last me...hmm...until about noon tomorrow.

into the 2nd trimester

i slept in and woke to a migraine. so i lingered in bed for about an hour, drifting in and out of sleep and evading the sunshine cutting in through the bedroom curtains by pulling my sleep mask further down over my eyes. ear plugs in, i hoped the silence and the stillness (and the 4 tylenol) would make me feel well enough to face the day.

by 11am, i was done laying there. i wanted to know what my family was up to. i cleaned up, put on jim's favorite lotion (it's a floral scent, which i hate - but i wear it because he loves it), and headed downstairs. i was pleasantly surprised when i came around the corner and found my two guys in the living room. jim was at the far end of the couch with his laptop out, working as usual. i took a mental snapshot as i watched jackson crawl over him, jim setting work aside to be playful. the rare sunshine, streaming in through the windows in all directions gave me an instant boost of happiness as i walked in and joined them on the couch. i love my little family. we miss our older three (which are at their father's for one overnight every other weekend), but it's always nice to have this peaceful time with the son we had together....and now, little bun in the oven. one could call it a brief respite from the usual noise and chaos which has become our day-to-day existence in a home with four kids.

i'm 13 weeks and 4 days. i've been improving, and have had a couple good days, but overall i am still nauseous most of the time. I'm back to cooking meals for my family but feel queasy the entire time. i feel better when i am eating...which is bad, because i can't be eating constantly. i am not stressing about it, but at the same time, i don't want to give myself too much work to do after the baby is born (shedding extra weight and toning up). i miss zumba. i miss my zumba peeps. but i have felt their love and attention since i've been away...perhaps more than anyone else!

we had a trip to california planned for next weekend but decided to stay put. it's frustrating, because the military would fly us there for free - and how often will our family of six get to be on a plane together? it's expensive. we'd also get hotel and meals paid for....so it's a bummer to pass it up. hopefully there will be another event in the future. but for now, i just don't feel well enough yet. and i know we'd want to extend the trip to see the sights, see family, and eat at all those wonderful places we don't have here (in'n'out, mission burrito, la monica's..to name a few). all that yummy food plus a rental car and fuel....is money we could use right now. so, like i said, hopefully later there will be another opportunity. *fingers crossed*

i really hope that i feel back to normal in the next couple weeks. i've never been sick past 16 weeks. around that time, i should start to feel the baby moving around. i look forward to that. i look forward to my belly growing (although it's already crazy big right now, for how far along i am - i suppose that's because this is baby #5). around 20 weeks, we can find out the sex. we're hoping for a girl.