jackson's first snowball

the bod

i was just looking at my first belly shot and can't wait to have my body back! it's 3:30am and i am wide awake. i have insomnia, but that's just part of it - jackson is squirming around too much for me to catch any Z's anyway...

i am quite sure i'm done having children, although i have said that with every single one. still, i don't want my thirties to be filled with diaper-changes and all that. i love my children and also love having some freedom. i look forward to nursing again, because of the closeness...but i also kinda dread being "hooked up" every couple hours.

i want my bod back, not just so i can fit back into my skinny jeans (VERY excited about that), but also because i am already getting tired of the aches and pains and awkwardness. but even as i type this, i am telling myself to stop venting and just enjoy it...because i only have a few months left - and i may never go this way again. hmm. i may never go this way again...

so i am going to go back to bed, and enjoy jackson's kicks and wriggles 'til i eventually drift back to sleep.

concerns

so....i just realized that james' blotchy, bright red cheeks may very well be fifth disease. he came home last night, from his father's place, with bright red cheeks. he's naturally rosy-cheeked and it was cold outside, so i didn't think anything of it. this morning, the redness appears to be more of a rash with raised bumps. there was a scare about this a while back, when i heard of a friend's son having it (and we'd been hanging out). i didn't know anything about it until another friend explained how it can be harmful to the baby, during pregnancy. i have no idea if i am immune or not. luckily i have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow, so i can discuss it with my doctor. i'll probably get a blood test to make sure. i know the risk is low, but i still worry...

lately

i'm past the halfway point and starting to feel quite large! i'm surprised to already be feeling achey and sore, mainly when i walk around. the round ligament pains aren't as bad as they were, thank goodness....but now i'm having other issues - like feeling like i'm going to split in two. yikes!

here are a few recent shots...

the results are in...

everyone, say hello to jackson alma conner!

while james was at joy school, shallyn stayed home with jenna so jim and i could go to the ultrasound appointment. they were running behind schedule, but we had fun talking and joking around while we waited. everything looks great and we got some great pictures - including a clear shot of his gender (even though the tech isn't allowed to print those out, she did anyway).

i'd been wanting another "J" name, for the children. they'll have different last names, so at least they'll have that first initial in common. it's funny, because those "J" names were never planned - it just turned out that way - and now we are doing it on purpose.

the first name i wanted (jude, or judah) was recently taken by a family member, so i tried to brainstorm other ideas. lately, i've been leaning towards the name "jacob." i thought "jake" would make a cute nickname. however, this morning as i got ready for the ultrasound appointment, "jacob" just didn't sound right. i'd been thinking this would be a girl, and really liked the name "josslyn" - but suddenly the name "jackson" popped into my thoughts and somehow i knew it would be a boy. turns out i (and according to my poll, 71% of you) was correct - a boy!

we are excited and knowing the sex helps make this more real for us. now we can bond and plan better. yay!

update update!!

it's been a while since i've blogged! i blame it all on stacy, who introduced me to facebook. she is my social network dealer and i am officially addicted. i need to get my daily fix or i get the shakes.

i am 18.5 weeks along and can feel the baby wiggle around every once in a while. i first felt something on sunday, october 5th, when we we leaving to have dinner at the chubbs' home. usually, i feel movement when i am still or laying down. anyway, it's not that often. i look forward to when i can feel more action going on in there.

i made the ultrasound appointment! 1,1k20j,cvdfcgf <~~~ (jenna says hello) so, hopefully we will find out the sex of this baby on november 4th. we are excited! jim isn't sure he wants to know, but i do. and if i know the gender, how could he possibly not find out as i decorate and shop for pink or blue things?? i figure if i know, he'll know. i thought it might be fun to do it the "old-fashioned" way and not find out until the baby actually arrives, but that thought didn't last very long. i like knowing! i like picking out the name, shopping for a specific gender and i feel the bonding is better. besides, i am way too curious for it to be a mystery.

unfortunately, i am still feeling nauseous throughout the day. luckily, it's not bad enough to keep me from enjoying myself. i've become accustomed to the icky feeling. it will be so nice when i feel totally normal again! i get extremely tired in the afternoon, especially when reading stories to james and jenna right before their naps. i think it gets me sleepier than it does them! i usually end up taking a nap as well....that is, if i am not on facebook. haha...

when??

i was feeling better...for a couple days, anyway. i am back to feeling nauseous for most of the day, especially at night. sooo frustrating!! but - at least it's not as bad as it was earlier. and - at least i haven't been as sick as i was with previous pregnancies!

some think a different man made all the difference. who knows? :o)

if you read our family blog, you know how hectic things have been around here. somehow, i have managed to do it all while feeling icky (and sometimes awful). it got pretty depressing laying around doing nothing all day but feeling sick, while other people took care of me and my children. i am thankful for all the help and happy to be well enough to be self-sufficient again. i'd rather be out somewhere feeling sick as opposed to stuck inside feeling sick.

anyway, there you have it. feels good to blog again. it wasn't too long ago that i could barely sit at this computer! we're making progress! i just wish i knew when i'll feel good again...

taste the rainbow

i must be feeling better. i had skittles today - with a smile!

some know, some don't....i've been struggling for some time with depressed feelings combined with horrible exhaustion and restless limbs. it's been awful! well, i finally decided it must be due to the pills i was taking for the nausea. sure enough, i took my last pill and felt NORMAL the next day!!! i was happy, had some energy...YAY!!! it is such a blessing to feel good again after feeling desperately miserable for so long.

yesterday was a great day. i picked up some chili cheese fritos from the grocery store and that was enough to kick the nausea to the curb. today was even better than yesterday. i had that same positive, bursting with joy feeling i get when i go to the temple. I AM SO GRATEFUL. it really IS a blessing to feel good, both physically and emotionally.

today i tasted the rainbow - and i don't just mean skittles. it's a sunny day and i feel sunny on the inside as well. life has its peaks and valleys and i am doing my best to stay on top. misery is not forever, although it can certainly feel like it when going through whatever it is you are dealing with. there is light at the end of that tunnel, though.

i am now twelve weeks along. goodbye, horrible first trimester!! today, on the way home from buying washable paints with james and jenna, we shared a bag of skittles and sang and giggled all the way home. ah, perfection.

9 weeks today

i'm still alive, barely.

i'm going to take just a couple minutes to update everyone, since i feel too awful to be at the computer for any length of time. yesterday was my first appointment. i met with a new doctor, dr. roe. my previous dr. is focusing more on administration and has gone part-time. well, i want a full time doc!! dr. roe was excellent - very thorough, knowledgeable, and kind. i think i will be happy with him.

i was nervous that something would be wrong, but sure enough - there was a heartbeat! i got to watch it on the little monitor while dr. roe informed me that i am a few days further along than i originally thought. a few days further along? sweeeeet! that's like skipping three days of nausea! so, the new due date is march 20th, 2009. here's our little bean (the head is on the left side):

i've been so grateful to have tons of help with babysitting and meals - even house cleaning! my heart is very full and i am soooo appreciative. i'm still sick 24/7 and it's absolutely miserable, but with all the assistance, love and support - it makes it easier. thank you, everyone!!

quickie

i'm only here to announce i am alive and miserable. thankfully, i am getting tons of help from friends, family and ward members. it's painful to realize i may have seven more weeks of this. ughh... gotta go.

package!!

jim brought in the mail this afternoon, and amongst the bills and junk mail were two packages for me!


shallyn sent me these cute wrist bands and yummy suckers to help with my nausea. shallyn...you ROCK. you are always so thoughtful! THANK YOU!!! i am already using them.

queasi-dillas

i barely made it through making peanut butter and honey sandwiches for the kids - blechhh. i made the mistake of licking my finger, which had some peanut butter on it. *groan* bad idea... i was REALLY hungry, but nothing looked or sounded good to me. finally, i decided that a quesadilla might be something i could swallow. it was actually pretty yummy and i was able to eat the whole thing. but now, a couple hours later, the mere thought of a quesadilla makes be queasy. funny, isn't it? pregnancy sure is interesting.

the smell of fresh rain (normally one of my favorite smells), causes me to clutch my hand over my mouth. i usually love to cuddle my children and smell the sunblock on their skin, but even that bothers me now. i think my bedroom is even making me nauseous...

i'm only in week six and feel absolutely miserable. part of me is glad, because it makes me feel like i really am pregnant and that things are going smoothly. the other part of me wants to take a magic pill that sends me into a deep sleep until the second trimester.

i am trying to be positive. at least i am not throwing up (yet). i better find some wood to knock on...

the news...