someday

i never posted about this, but a few months after that miscarriage, i was pregnant again - only to miscarry again. i kept that one private because, after immediately announcing the first one, i didn't want to make the same mistake. i am glad i never posted anything about it - only close friends and family knew. two miscarriages in one year left me feeling extremely depressed and defeated. i began to wonder if it was ever going to happen. 

in the meantime, i have focused on other things, such as (surprise, surprise) ZUMBA! that is something that brings me a great deal of happiness. i do not know what the future holds so i might as well just keep on keepin' on. it's been so much fun instructing a free class at church, as well as instructing a song or two at classes and parties here and there. some employment opportunities have opened up but i don't think that is something i will do at this time.

we'd love to have at least one more child. we'd *love* to give jackson a little brother or sister. i would love a little girl version of him. i would love to give another child to jim. if it's meant to be, it'll happen - and it will last.