mama's bun

easter weekend

2009-04-13T14:27:00.000-07:00

here we are, almost 4 weeks later. can you believe it??? hard to believe that endless pregnancy actually ended. labor, delivery & healing is far behind me now. for a while there, i was thrilled to no longer be pregnant and excited about getting my body back - for good! however, i am finding myself missing my pregnant belly. i'm even feeling....baby hungry?!? what on earth???

tomorrow, jackson will be 4 weeks old. he's starting to fill out nicely and gain more weight. he's adorable and we love him more and more each day. we look forward to learning his personality and seeing those first smiles and hearing those first words. for now, we are thoroughly enjoying his itty-bitty stage. i love all those newborn sounds and smells.

as for me....i was 160 when i gave birth and now i'm down to 135. my goal and personal ideal weight is 115-120. last week, i figured i could start exercising since it'd been a few weeks after having jackson. the kathy smith fat burning workout still kicks my butt after all these years (i've been doing it since junior high - wow!). that vhs tape has always helped me get back into shape. kathy smith, don't fail me now!! i am still wishy washy over having any more children, but one thing is for sure....i want my body back first!! i like beginning a pregnancy in the best shape possible.

we have a vacation planned for later this year, so i want to be in great shape and NOT be pregnant. there are rides at disneyland and magic mountain i'll want to ride!! and i don't want babies back to back, either. hmm...the thought of five children is both appealing and nightmarish. i wonder what the future holds?

this weekend, we blessed jackson. jim gave the most beautiful blessing i've ever heard. it was so nice to have family here for the special occasion. it's so cool that jackson was born on st. patrick's day and blessed on easter! he's our little holiday baby.

1 week, 1 day old

2009-03-25T19:37:00.001-07:00

For more photos and a video, visit our family blog!

he's here!!!

2009-03-20T15:07:00.000-07:00

it's a good thing i finished jackson's quilt because...he's here!! things don't always go as i plan - i've gotten used to that. still, i had certain expectations...like hoping for an inducement on jackson's due date (the 20th). but reality has a way of being better than what i expected...

on monday night, jim and i went to bed pretty late. we love spending time together, talking, reading, playing games and so forth, that we lose track of time. after just a few minutes of laying in bed, i had a really strong contraction. jim has experienced me having contractions before, so he stayed put.....until another one came, and was worse. after several painful contractions, jim got his watch out and began timing. the contractions seemed to be coming just a couple minutes apart. oh my goodness....was i going into labor on my own?? i began to worry because i was so exhausted already and had hoped to be induced. yes, i am a planner...i like to be prepared. this was very unexpected and we began to think this just might be it! without me having to say a word, jim went right to my list and began packing items for the hospital. i love how he just gets on task like that, like he's reading my mind. well, the contractions began to subside....but they were still coming. we figured we weren't going anywhere yet, but at least the bags were packed and surely i had dilated quite a lot since last time i was checked. we discussed it and thought it best that we sleep separately because jim needed the sleep and i knew i'd continue to be up having contractions. i didn't want to keep him awake for no reason - it'd be dumb if we were both sleep deprived!

jim got up with the kids in the morning, as he usually does. i was incredibly grateful for that because i had been up all night and desperately needed the sleep. i asked if he could stay home from work and he said he would. i was worried about him being so far away if i went into labor. so i went back to sleep and set my alarm because i had a 10am appointment. next thing i know, jim is waking me telling me that it's 9:40am!! we were supposed to drop the kids off at 9:45am, at my friend stacy's house. i leapt out of bed and showered faster than i ever have. stacy was awesome, and drove over immediately to pick the kids up. soon enough, jim and i were on our way to my appointment. it was funny because i'd let my hair air-dry and had no makeup on, so the receptionist (who normally says, "hi, ellen!") just stared at me for a moment. i told her i was there to see dr. roe and she said, "oh, it's you! i didn't recognize you!" yeah, i looked pretty awful...especially after being so sleep deprived!

dr. roe arrived and checked me. i half-jokingly asked to be induced that day. he said i was 4cm and 100% effaced...then said to go to the hospital. my response: "wha-what?? what did you just say?" i thought i hadn't heard him correctly. he said i was in labor and to get to the hospital. wow!! i did NOT expect that. jim and i were totally giddy. we headed home for our bags, stunned by the fact that we'd be having a baby in just a few hours. crazy.

sooo typical....jim was speeding along and two motorcycle cops pulled us over. it was pretty funny, the wife in labor and the husband rushing through traffic... so jim pulled into an apartment complex and the two cops took their sweet time in walking over. jim was impatient, waving at them from the window to come over. obviously, the cops had no idea i was in labor. we WERE on our way to the hospital and I WAS in labor, but we had time to stop by our house...so it's not like we could agree to a police escort to the hospital. heck, i wasn't going to have a baby without slapping on some makeup first!! those pictures and videos are forever! haha...

we got home and hurried as fact as we could. then, we were on our way. trisha was already there when we arrived. it was so exciting!! we were going to have a st. patrick's day baby! we first entered the labor/delivery room at 11:45am. i was 4-5cm when dr. roe arrived and broke my water at 12:30pm. by 12:50pm, my contractions were getting really intense and i was asking for an epidural. i wasn't asking so much because of the pain at that moment....it was more about the fact that last time i asked for one, it took forever and i didn't end up getting one because it was too late. knowing how fast i go, i wanted them to find that anesthesiologist - STAT!!

unfortunately, i needed to go through an entire bag of fluid through my IV before i could get that epidural, so they gave me some fentanol in the meantime. man, that stuff is HEAVENLY!! i relaxed immediately...was even laughing. it was pretty hilarious. the contractions still hurt, but at least it took the edge off. finally, i got my epidural at 1:45pm and, after a few more bad contractions, it kicked in and my legs went numb. it's the oddest feeling, poking your own legs and not feeling a thing....

for the next hour, we three hung out and had a good time. i was completely relaxed, just laying there. trisha took lots of great pictures and videos for us. i really appreciated her presence, not only for the picture-taking, but because she is my closest sister and it meant so much having her there. she knows, more than most, what i went through three years ago in that same hospital. she was a great comfort, and second only to jim, my great advocate.

at 3:10pm, i was 6-7cm and the epidural began to wear off. and man, those contractions were nasty!! i was able to get another dose from my epidural, and by 3:25pm, i was 8-9cm. of course it didn't take long....jackson was born at 3:57pm. my epidural had worn off quite a bit, so it was pretty painful....but worth it. always, worth it. seems like it just took a few pushes and he was out! jim thought he was quite the purple, gooey mess at first. i adored him from the moment i laid eyes on him. it was so much fun to finally see him and hold him.

i got to hold him for a very long time before he was finally weighed and measured. his apgar score was a 9, the highest of all my children. he weighed 8 lbs., and was 20 inches long. i was so happy and grateful that we were able to have him on this day. and it was st. patrick's day - how fun is that?! there is also a greater space now, between his birthday and jenna's (march 27th). i didn't want their birthdays too close together. so we have a lot of special days in march, now! jackson and jenna's birthdays, my sister tina's birthday, and our anniversary (the 29th).

stacy had been watching our children all this time, and brought them to the hospital for a visit. they rushed to him immediately and were very excited. stacy brought jackson a stuffed puppy, as well as a balloon and pretty red flowers. i appreciate her so much for all she did. she is a wonderful friend.

even though i was exhausted and in pain, i felt so happy and so thankful for my life and my family. i also felt a surge of emotions towards jim. my feelings for him have continued to climb since we were married, but i'm suddenly feeling even closer with this tiny person connecting us. jim has changed my life in so many ways and i've always known he is an amazing husband and father. seeing him experience fatherhood from scratch like this has been incredible. he is a natural. i am so happy for him, and for us.

we couldn't believe what a good and quiet baby we had! in fact, jackson slept from about 2am - 7am! unfortunately, while he was sleeping, i was experiencing so much pain that i couldn't take advantage of it. they kept giving me meds but nothing seemed to help. when they finally gave me some demerol, i got really groggy and was able to sleep a tiny bit. we talked about staying another night but decided we both wanted to go home.

bringing jackson home was wonderful. we are so happy that he's finally here and look forward to watching him grow and change. thank you, to everyone who sent gifts, cards, meals, left messages and e-mails. we are feeling the love!!

week 39

2009-03-16T14:18:00.000-07:00

i wrote all about this past weekend on our family blog, so go check it out!! basically, we had a surprise couple's baby shower for jim at outback steakhouse - soooo much fun!! - followed by registering at the hospital and getting a private tour of the maternity floor. after that visit to the hospital, both of us are feeling a lot more excited and prepared for jackson's arrival.

tomorrow is (hopefully) my last appointment. i've had LOTS of contractions this past week, so i should have progressed a lot since last time. i will be very surprised if i haven't changed much. i am really hoping we can schedule an induction for this friday, which is also my due date.

this weekend i finally continued with jackson's quilt. all i need to do now is hand-stitch the binding and it'll be done! i love how it's turning out.

now we wait. i look forward to jackson's arrival but i am also trying to relish every last moment of "freedom." i know it's going to be more difficult going places or getting things done around the house...so i continue to nest and do as much as possible (wthin reason) before he gets here. jim has (as always) been amazing. he is the most understanding, helpful, compassionate, dedicated man. i love and appreciate him so much. i am so excited about our new addition, and much of that excitement is for HIM.

mama's bun.

2009-03-09T16:17:00.001-07:00

thanks to trisha, i made it to my afternoon appointment with dr. roe. i was elated to learn i'm 1-2cm and 50% effaced. the last couple weeks have been disappointing because nothing had happened yet....but finally, some progress!

while i was there, he stripped my membranes. i've had that done before and nothing ever came of it....and since i have always been induced, i'd be REALLY surprised if i went into labor on my own. uh oh, we still need to pre-register at the hospital!! i've been waiting for jim to be available for that, so we can also tour the birthing center while there. he's been incredibly busy, though. time is running out! great...i just reminded myself of all that still needs done and i'm feeling my pulse quicken!

i only gained a pound since my last appointment. i'm happy about that. i've gained about 40 pounds so far - amazing, when you consider all the high-calorie foods i've given myself permission to scarf down! let's face it....this is my final opportunity to eat whatever and not have to suck it in after a meal.

i do look forward to getting my body back (i've been saying that a lot, haven't i??). however, while feeling jackson's kicks and wriggles today, i felt a bit sad knowing it may very well be the last time i feel a baby's movement in my belly. i'm just a week and a half away from the due date. he could come at anytime! i can't wait to meet this little guy but there is also the part of me that wants him to stay put. well, he's coming soon and we are excited! who knows, maybe next time you hear from us, we'll be home from the hospital with jackson in our arms!

final weekend.

2009-03-06T15:02:00.000-08:00

well, sure....it's not "final" final. but with the kids off to their father's this weekend, jim at drill and jackson still in my belly....it's going to be a long time before a chance like this presents itself again!! you BET i am taking advantage!!

some adult conversation
my friend jeanne' came over today, with her two youngest. i love having friends over because it motivates me to clean, clean, clean!! i've been nesting so much and keeping the house in pretty good condition lately, but having a guest really boosts my cleaning mood. so now my home is clean and my spirits are lifted, after hanging out with her. we had some great conversation while the kids played throughout the house. they stayed for lunch, too. i made dinosaur chicken nuggets for the kids and homemade chinese chicken salad for the grown-ups! yum! and the icing on the cake? IT'S A GORGEOUS DAY!! the skies are blue, the sun is shining....and "freedom" is just a couple hours away. when jessica gets home, i am dropping by target to pick up a play-yard bassinet for jackson that i have on hold, then continuing on to seattle. woo-hoo!!

girl's day out!
i am even MORE excited about tomorrow. my sister and i are going out to lunch and hittin' a matinee. it's part one of our sister date. next week, we are getting our toes done! that way, when my feet are up in the air and jackson is entering the world, i will have cute (but swollen) feet! i love hanging out with my sis. if we weren't sisters, she'd definitely be one of my very best friends. i am so grateful that she lives just minutes away. she will be there for jackson's birth so that will be fun!

the uber-long night
last night's "sleep" was pretty awful. jim came home really late from work, was still on-call, AND had to pack for drill. i stayed up helping him get ready for the weekend, and of course because we are best friends we tend to talk wayyyy too much - which is FUN but also makes things take longer! i finally headed to bed after doing what i could to help him prep, but then i couldn't fall asleep until he came to bed. well, when he finally DID turn in, i was extremely uncomfortable. he fell right to sleep and i ended up wide awake for hours. it was one thing after another....jackson had hiccups, his itty bitty feet were up in my ribcage, my hips were really sore, i got hungry, had to pee (what else is new? haha!). oh my goodness....i will be so thrilled to get my bod back! i finally was able to fall asleep around 4am, after killing some time on facebook (naturally). such a frustrating night!!

finishing touches
this weekend i hope to finish (or at least continue) on jackson's baby quilt. i can't wait to see it completed! jackson's room is looking awesome. jim has helped so much. i tell you...i have the most incredible husband in the world. he is so helpful and attentive, always striving to work hard and do the right thing. i admire him more and more each day and appreciate all his efforts. he does so much for me and it leaves me wanting to do so much for him, in return! i have my crazy "to-do" list which grows rather than shrinks...and he is totally supportive and pitches right in. the other day, i found him cleaning out the microwave right after he came home from another long day at work. he was helping me check one more thing off my list - now THAT is a man!!!

countdown!!!
it's now less than two weeks until my due date. i can hardly believe it. this pregnancy has felt eternal at times....and now here we are, at the end of it. i have another appointment on monday but i'm not expecting much. i will be surprised if there's been any change because i haven't really had many contractions this week. we are even more prepared for jackson's arrival now. the baby swing, jumper and bassinet will soon be here. we pretty much have everything we need! i do want to get a first year calendar, though. those are great to have from the very start. we are excited!!!!

disappointment.

2009-03-02T12:59:00.000-08:00

saw the doc today. no change. what about all those contractions i've been having?? :o(

the belly video

2009-02-28T20:39:00.000-08:00

just a short clip of mama and her bun....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-4ERCKq7XE

5 goals for today

2009-02-24T14:13:00.000-08:00

stop snacking and chew on some gum!!
start sewing jackson's baby quilt
clear out all the non-baby stuff from jackson's room
remind my husband how amazing he is
spend some quality time with jessica

gettin' there...

2009-02-23T14:04:00.000-08:00

at my appointment last week, they informed me that i'd lost two pounds. what?!? how on earth is that possible? i have been eating to my heart's desire and the only exercise i do revolves around children and housework. hmm....

they also informed me that they'd be checking for group b strep. how had i managed to forget about that? oh yeah....the pregnant brain forgets everything. if i'd remembered this detail, i would have bothered to shave my legs (a monumental task at this point) and NOT worn black socks. now that i'll be going every week, i plan on being prepared - cute socks and all.

i continue to nest. i don't have an actual list (my husband has asked for one) - it's all in my head. again, a dangerous place for a list to be, with the forgetful pregnant mind and all.

today, i came home from shopping and decided to dig through the garage and locate james' old baby things. i found them immediately, thanks to my wonderful hubby who has been trying to make the garage a more functional (clean & organized) space. it was so much fun, seeing james' old baby clothes, blankets, shoes, itty bitty socks.... my heart was all a-flutter with anticipation. i'm getting excited!!

i love being able to reuse james' baby clothes. james was such a huge baby - he fit them for about two seconds - so everything is in brand new condition. right now, i am washing everything with dreft, my favorite baby detergent. the smell brings back all kinds of wonderful baby memories. i have two loads of blankets and clothes (0-6 months). that should fill the dresser nicely.

speaking of the dresser, this past weekend i went to IKEA (love that place!!) and bought the same dresser james has. when the boys eventually share a room, their dressers will match - yay! jim, being the awesome husband he is, went right to work on putting it together. he did some heavy lifting/moving for me and now jackson's room is just about ready.

i'm feeling more prepared for jackson's arrival, which is a big deal to me. still, i have "to-do's" on the brain...

plan meals ahead of time
finish (er...start) jackson's quilt
arrange for help when we go to the hospital
get new video camera battery
make sure camera stays on the charger
buy myself new pajamas (my personal tradition, when having a baby)
clean minivan, inside and out
continue to stay on top of laundry, housework, etc.
i know i'm forgetting something...

no wonder my back hurts....

2009-02-12T09:44:00.000-08:00

here i am, with five weeks (give or take) to go!! lots of people have been commenting on how my belly has popped out even more recently. i have to agree, because i am the one feeling the affects of it! this is the not-so-fun part, lookswise (yes, i am vain)....i definitely "poof up" at the end of my pregnancies. of course, it will also help if i stay away from the nachos and ice cream... i think the hardest part for me is the face. i just don't see myself when i look in the mirror. but i keep reminding myself, "this is temporary, this is temporary!!"

jackson is head-down now. i really enjoy his cute, little movements (which are less frequent, now that he is quickly running out of room in there). there is the usual pain, of course, but all the kicks and wiggles make it worth it. we are incredibly curious as to what this little guy is going to look like. all we can do is wait...

6 weeks to go!!!

2009-02-05T11:54:00.000-08:00

~1 baby room painted

~2 pieces of furniture put together by jim

~3 children that can't wait for their brother to arrive

~4 pieces of fabric to cut for baby quilt

~5 cute baby outfits bought at a steal

~6 weeks to go!!

more insomnia...

2009-01-28T06:12:00.000-08:00

it's just after 6am and i've been up since 3am-ish. blah!! i really hate this. i'm either hungry or restless or have something on the brain or jackson is kicking me or i have to pee. arghh!!! it's going to be a longgggg day.

32 weeks, 1 day!

2009-01-23T14:56:00.000-08:00

got a hot date tonight, in seattle!! we'll drop the kids off at their father's then it's just jim and i. we're counting down....not many opportunities like this left!

i'm excited.

thar she blows!!

2009-01-22T16:42:00.000-08:00

yeahhh....feeling like a whale these days. i get lots of nice comments about my size when i go out, and you'd think that helps - but not really. i look back at that first belly shot...man, was i skinny!! i am very excited to get back into shape after this. a friend of mine has been getting up really early each morning and working out - i totally admire her, and she looks AMAZING (yeah, i am talking about YOU, karissa)! i have no idea how life is going to be with four children, one of them being a newborn, but i sure hope i find the time (and willpower) to exercise!

here i am at 32 weeks. i figure i should show my belly at a different angle. i only have eight weeks left (depending on whenever jackson decides to arrive)...and i'm only going to get BIGGER!! well, as long as i don't get as huge as i did with my first pregnancy, i will be happy. i was about 186 lbs. when i had jessica! i am surprised i'm not bigger because i've been enjoying food and haven't been careful at ALL.

at my last doctor visit, i learned that i'm anemic. no big surprise. i've been feeling extremely weak and tired (more than the norm). plus, i'm always anemic when pregnant. so i am taking iron pills now, three times a day. i can feel a difference, but not much. still exhausted all the time. and it's hard to get any exercise when feeling so pooped!! any exercise i get involves taking care of the kids and cleaning house.

as i blog, the kids play "kitchen" beside me. they are so cute. quite often, they come over, hug my belly and talk to jackson. when james says his prayers, he never forgets to add, "and bless that jackson will come out soon." it's really sweet. jenna is excited to be a big sister. it's strange to me, that she won't be my youngest anymore. it's hard to believe almost three years have passed since she was born.

during naptime today, i took the usual belly shot then decided to play around in microsoft image composer as i watched my DVR'd show, "top chef: new york."

yep, naptime is mommy time. i try not to take a nap (although i badly want one), because it tends to screw up that night's sleep. last night, i slept *maybe* a total of two hours. ughh...

one can always tell when it's the 5 o'clock hour around here. jessica is down the street at hannah's house and i'm coming out of my peak of exhaustion as the kids make a massive mess of toys while awaiting daddy's arrival. he's at the dentist. again. poor guy, he seems to go there a lot. this is also the time when i try to figure out what i should make for dinner. during this pregnancy, i've been terrible at planning meals. luckily, it always turns out!

the latest and greatest....

2009-01-14T15:31:00.000-08:00

"greatest," meaning me. noooo, i'm not having an ego trip. i mean "great" as in LARGE. well, apparently i gained a bit too much last month. at my last appointment, my doctor took one look at my weight and said, "looks like you enjoyed the holidays." i DID enjoy them - thank you very much!! i admit, i am not being very careful with my calorie-intake. this may be my last pregnancy so i am just going to enjoy it. let's face it - this is the only time i can eat a big meal and don't have to suck it in! i don't enjoy seeing the weight gain (especially around my face), but it helps knowing i always bounce back and end up wearing my "skinny jeans" again. just a few more months!

it's pretty crazy, now that i am in my 31st week. i think my nesting phase is finally dying down. i've been cleaning and organizing, taking things the DI (goodwill)....and PAINTING!! yep, this past weekend i took advantage of the kiddos being gone and jim being away at drill. i woke up early and got started. it took most of the day, but that's because i took a lot of breaks. by the time jim arrived home, i was done painting but in tons of pain. my back was KILLING me. he, of course (being the great husband he is), had me lay down and rest while he cleaned up and put all the furniture back. he also put the crib up - yay!! i love you, baby!!

here are a few pics of the room. i still need to make curtains and find something to go on the walls to tie it all together. i am going to hang dark red curtains in the window and also in front of the treadmill (don't want to see that eyesore)! i'm sure i'll post more pics when it's complete.

the next thing to accomplish is jackson's baby quilt. the quilt you see hanging on the crib is actually james' baby quilt, made by my sister, trisha. it goes really well with the room! but, of course, jackson will have his own quilt. this is the fabric i am using:

i just washed the fabric today and will probably iron it tonight. tomorrow....it's cutting time!!

jackson's first snowball

2008-12-19T09:10:00.000-08:00

the bod

2008-12-12T03:29:00.000-08:00

i was just looking at my first belly shot and can't wait to have my body back! it's 3:30am and i am wide awake. i have insomnia, but that's just part of it - jackson is squirming around too much for me to catch any Z's anyway...

i am quite sure i'm done having children, although i have said that with every single one. still, i don't want my thirties to be filled with diaper-changes and all that. i love my children and also love having some freedom. i look forward to nursing again, because of the closeness...but i also kinda dread being "hooked up" every couple hours.

i want my bod back, not just so i can fit back into my skinny jeans (VERY excited about that), but also because i am already getting tired of the aches and pains and awkwardness. but even as i type this, i am telling myself to stop venting and just enjoy it...because i only have a few months left - and i may never go this way again. hmm. i may never go this way again...

so i am going to go back to bed, and enjoy jackson's kicks and wriggles 'til i eventually drift back to sleep.

concerns

2008-12-07T11:02:00.000-08:00

so....i just realized that james' blotchy, bright red cheeks may very well be fifth disease. he came home last night, from his father's place, with bright red cheeks. he's naturally rosy-cheeked and it was cold outside, so i didn't think anything of it. this morning, the redness appears to be more of a rash with raised bumps. there was a scare about this a while back, when i heard of a friend's son having it (and we'd been hanging out). i didn't know anything about it until another friend explained how it can be harmful to the baby, during pregnancy. i have no idea if i am immune or not. luckily i have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow, so i can discuss it with my doctor. i'll probably get a blood test to make sure. i know the risk is low, but i still worry...

lately

2008-11-15T23:43:00.000-08:00

i'm past the halfway point and starting to feel quite large! i'm surprised to already be feeling achey and sore, mainly when i walk around. the round ligament pains aren't as bad as they were, thank goodness....but now i'm having other issues - like feeling like i'm going to split in two. yikes!

here are a few recent shots...

the results are in...

2008-11-04T14:19:00.000-08:00

everyone, say hello to jackson alma conner!

while james was at joy school, shallyn stayed home with jenna so jim and i could go to the ultrasound appointment. they were running behind schedule, but we had fun talking and joking around while we waited. everything looks great and we got some great pictures - including a clear shot of his gender (even though the tech isn't allowed to print those out, she did anyway).

i'd been wanting another "J" name, for the children. they'll have different last names, so at least they'll have that first initial in common. it's funny, because those "J" names were never planned - it just turned out that way - and now we are doing it on purpose.

the first name i wanted (jude, or judah) was recently taken by a family member, so i tried to brainstorm other ideas. lately, i've been leaning towards the name "jacob." i thought "jake" would make a cute nickname. however, this morning as i got ready for the ultrasound appointment, "jacob" just didn't sound right. i'd been thinking this would be a girl, and really liked the name "josslyn" - but suddenly the name "jackson" popped into my thoughts and somehow i knew it would be a boy. turns out i (and according to my poll, 71% of you) was correct - a boy!

we are excited and knowing the sex helps make this more real for us. now we can bond and plan better. yay!

update update!!

2008-10-20T09:20:00.000-07:00

it's been a while since i've blogged! i blame it all on stacy, who introduced me to facebook. she is my social network dealer and i am officially addicted. i need to get my daily fix or i get the shakes.

i am 18.5 weeks along and can feel the baby wiggle around every once in a while. i first felt something on sunday, october 5th, when we we leaving to have dinner at the chubbs' home. usually, i feel movement when i am still or laying down. anyway, it's not that often. i look forward to when i can feel more action going on in there.

i made the ultrasound appointment! 1,1k20j,cvdfcgf <~~~ (jenna says hello) so, hopefully we will find out the sex of this baby on november 4th. we are excited! jim isn't sure he wants to know, but i do. and if i know the gender, how could he possibly not find out as i decorate and shop for pink or blue things?? i figure if i know, he'll know. i thought it might be fun to do it the "old-fashioned" way and not find out until the baby actually arrives, but that thought didn't last very long. i like knowing! i like picking out the name, shopping for a specific gender and i feel the bonding is better. besides, i am way too curious for it to be a mystery.

unfortunately, i am still feeling nauseous throughout the day. luckily, it's not bad enough to keep me from enjoying myself. i've become accustomed to the icky feeling. it will be so nice when i feel totally normal again! i get extremely tired in the afternoon, especially when reading stories to james and jenna right before their naps. i think it gets me sleepier than it does them! i usually end up taking a nap as well....that is, if i am not on facebook. haha...

when??

2008-09-15T21:29:00.000-07:00

i was feeling better...for a couple days, anyway. i am back to feeling nauseous for most of the day, especially at night. sooo frustrating!! but - at least it's not as bad as it was earlier. and - at least i haven't been as sick as i was with previous pregnancies!

some think a different man made all the difference. who knows? :o)

if you read our family blog, you know how hectic things have been around here. somehow, i have managed to do it all while feeling icky (and sometimes awful). it got pretty depressing laying around doing nothing all day but feeling sick, while other people took care of me and my children. i am thankful for all the help and happy to be well enough to be self-sufficient again. i'd rather be out somewhere feeling sick as opposed to stuck inside feeling sick.

anyway, there you have it. feels good to blog again. it wasn't too long ago that i could barely sit at this computer! we're making progress! i just wish i knew when i'll feel good again...

taste the rainbow

2008-09-05T15:16:00.000-07:00

i must be feeling better. i had skittles today - with a smile!

some know, some don't....i've been struggling for some time with depressed feelings combined with horrible exhaustion and restless limbs. it's been awful! well, i finally decided it must be due to the pills i was taking for the nausea. sure enough, i took my last pill and felt NORMAL the next day!!! i was happy, had some energy...YAY!!! it is such a blessing to feel good again after feeling desperately miserable for so long.

yesterday was a great day. i picked up some chili cheese fritos from the grocery store and that was enough to kick the nausea to the curb. today was even better than yesterday. i had that same positive, bursting with joy feeling i get when i go to the temple. I AM SO GRATEFUL. it really IS a blessing to feel good, both physically and emotionally.

today i tasted the rainbow - and i don't just mean skittles. it's a sunny day and i feel sunny on the inside as well. life has its peaks and valleys and i am doing my best to stay on top. misery is not forever, although it can certainly feel like it when going through whatever it is you are dealing with. there is light at the end of that tunnel, though.

i am now twelve weeks along. goodbye, horrible first trimester!! today, on the way home from buying washable paints with james and jenna, we shared a bag of skittles and sang and giggled all the way home. ah, perfection.

9 weeks today

2008-08-14T09:57:00.000-07:00

i'm still alive, barely.

i'm going to take just a couple minutes to update everyone, since i feel too awful to be at the computer for any length of time. yesterday was my first appointment. i met with a new doctor, dr. roe. my previous dr. is focusing more on administration and has gone part-time. well, i want a full time doc!! dr. roe was excellent - very thorough, knowledgeable, and kind. i think i will be happy with him.

i was nervous that something would be wrong, but sure enough - there was a heartbeat! i got to watch it on the little monitor while dr. roe informed me that i am a few days further along than i originally thought. a few days further along? sweeeeet! that's like skipping three days of nausea! so, the new due date is march 20th, 2009. here's our little bean (the head is on the left side):

i've been so grateful to have tons of help with babysitting and meals - even house cleaning! my heart is very full and i am soooo appreciative. i'm still sick 24/7 and it's absolutely miserable, but with all the assistance, love and support - it makes it easier. thank you, everyone!!

quickie

2008-08-05T10:18:00.000-07:00

i'm only here to announce i am alive and miserable. thankfully, i am getting tons of help from friends, family and ward members. it's painful to realize i may have seven more weeks of this. ughh... gotta go.

package!!

2008-07-30T18:14:00.000-07:00

jim brought in the mail this afternoon, and amongst the bills and junk mail were two packages for me!

shallyn sent me these cute wrist bands and yummy suckers to help with my nausea. shallyn...you ROCK. you are always so thoughtful! THANK YOU!!! i am already using them.

queasi-dillas

2008-07-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

i barely made it through making peanut butter and honey sandwiches for the kids - blechhh. i made the mistake of licking my finger, which had some peanut butter on it. *groan* bad idea... i was REALLY hungry, but nothing looked or sounded good to me. finally, i decided that a quesadilla might be something i could swallow. it was actually pretty yummy and i was able to eat the whole thing. but now, a couple hours later, the mere thought of a quesadilla makes be queasy. funny, isn't it? pregnancy sure is interesting.

the smell of fresh rain (normally one of my favorite smells), causes me to clutch my hand over my mouth. i usually love to cuddle my children and smell the sunblock on their skin, but even that bothers me now. i think my bedroom is even making me nauseous...

i'm only in week six and feel absolutely miserable. part of me is glad, because it makes me feel like i really am pregnant and that things are going smoothly. the other part of me wants to take a magic pill that sends me into a deep sleep until the second trimester.

i am trying to be positive. at least i am not throwing up (yet). i better find some wood to knock on...

the news...

2008-07-29T13:10:00.001-07:00